The Journey Continues

March 25rd, 2015

The news came in an email:

“Congratulations! On behalf of the Department of Biology at Stanford University, I am pleased to inform you of our offer of admission to our PhD program”

The news came in an envelope:

“Congratulations! I am pleased to inform you that you have been admitted as a graduate student for Fall 2015 to the Ph.D. program in Scripps Institution of Oceanography majoring in Marine Biology at the University of California, San Diego.”

The news came in a phone call:

“Paul, this is Dr. Stewart. I need to speak with you regarding the results of your CT scan. I know we have an appointment next week, but I need to speak with you before that…”

All of the emotions of the last few days, the last few months, indeed the last year struggle to make it on to this page.

Long story short, the cancer is back.
What foreign words to write, and even stranger words to read back.

While I could dwell on the implications, the treatment, and the grueling days ahead, I’d rather talk about how the last few months of cancer-free living have been some of the most beautiful and fulfilling:

-I’ve had such an incredible job a the Broad Center for Stem Cell and Regenerative Medicine. I’ve gotten to learn and train alongside colleagues who work tirelessly and do truly amazing work.

(Fluorescent developing zebrafish)

-I’ve spent time growing in community with folk in the SGV who are committed to walking through both the mountains and valleys of life together.

-I’ve been able to visit some of the most stellar labs during graduate school interviews, and I’ve felt honored that they would even entertain the thought of me joining them. The interview process allowed me to engage with some of brightest thinkers in modern science, who continue to transform the fields of marine biology and developmental biology.

(The skyline flying into San Francisco)

(The view across Lake Union in Seattle)

(The beautiful shores of La Jolla)

(The historic bay in Monterey)

-Finally, it would also be impossible to express how wonderful the last few months have been without telling you about a certain young woman. What started as a joke with a friend (did the mystical girl who loved bacon, beer, and cats truly exist?) turned into so much more. I have come to know a human far lovelier than I could have ever imagined. From a fateful Friday evening, to a few slow months of simply becoming good friends, to the #sundayadventureseries… every passing day I grow more thankful to have someone with whom I can share this journey called life.

In my last entry I had written about the fear of relapse and said this “I’m going to choose to live a life free of fear, full of appreciation for life, and try to make the most of each moment.” And I still will choose that actively each and every single day. And I challenge you, regardless of your circumstances to do the same.

Your prayers both for myself and for my loved ones are always appreciated.

Greater things are yet to come

Much love,
Paul